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April 04, 2009

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Paul Steinbrueck

A couple more I would add...

Men need manly ways to serve. Most men don't want to bake cookies, serve drinks, changed diapers, or teach Sunday School. Give men the opportunity to fix stuff, build stuff, or work with computers or electronics whether on the church grounds or in the community.

Men need manly social activities. Most men who are outside the church or new to church are not interested in an invitation to a pot luck or a small group to sit around and talk about their feelings. Men should organize outings to ballgames, fishing, mountain biking, and camping trips as fun ways to build friendships with other men.

Just my $0.02.

Ryan

I wouldn't presuppose churches are "getting" this point either:

Men need sound doctrine that evidently comes from the Bible. They need to be encouraged by the gospel, understanding the relationship between their sin and the cross of Christ and how that enables them to live like Jesus - the alpha male, so to speak. This opens the floodgates for reform in areas of home leadership, marriage relationships, defeating addictions, and more. This made all the difference to me, and without it, I am unimpressed by the church. Even more, when I attend places that browbeat men with the Law, the discouragement or at least the hopelessness coming from the pulpit is palpable. I don't think most men walk around with delusions of grandeur imagining they can "do the Bible thing" as they are.

Leanne Shawler

(I've come over from Church Marketing Sucks...)

This started out making sense (and I was ready to share it with our Men's Group leadership) and then at "Men need to be challenged at the pulpit" this ended up being totally misogynist. By saying "men need this", the implication is that women don't. We do.

Men don't get involved because church has never been a "place" for them. They have work, home and the local bar if they drink. Women got into church because after WWII, men expected them to stay home again, but they'd had a taste of making a difference in the world outside their home, and so church became their "other place".

Men need a catalyst like that.

Ryan hit the nail right on the head. Men need Jesus. They need God. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Of course, we all need Jesus and God.

Somehow we just need to get men in to the door and through it so they can hear that.

I'm up for making the worship experience more masculine, of having more "manly" things that men can do together, but a lot of the stuff in this post is what *every* person needs, regardless of gender. We women really aren't that different.

Matt Norman

Leanne, I don't think to say that Men Need this or that assumes that women do not. To assume so would be to say that the current focus in the medical community on women's heart health implies that men no longer need to worry about the health of their hearts. I think the point of this is that the church has become an organization run mostly by women. Sure, most pastors and staff are still men, but look around at the lay-leadership in most churches and you will find an unbalanced number of women in leadership. Plus look at the minsitries that most churches offer and you are likely to find more minsitries that are aimed directly, or indirectly at women. We need to be careful in assuming that when an author talks about the something that a man needs that he or she is assuming that women don't need that. After all, the title of this article is not, "What Men Need The Women Don't Need."

David Moore

Thanks to Leanne and the rest of you guys. Wonderful comments. And Leanne, I recognize that we are ALL fallen and in need of a Saviour but I purposely excluded women because quite frankly, I don't know what women need in a church, but I do know a little bit about what men need. But thanks for your comments. I also think that some churches are doing more harm than good with the Law messages (Ryan) and potluck dinners (Paul). The God we serve has not changed and the Truth in His Word has not changed. Have men? That's a whole new post but I think the approach to unchurched men needs to change. As good of a story as SALVATION is, the "church" is doing a poor job of selling it.

onyx

If churches weren't full of religious obligation, pressure, and institution-supporting rules, then I, as a man, might be more tempted to rejoin one.

The REAL church of Jesus Christ is what he built and modelled- a close fellowship WITHOUT hierarchy, WITHOUT a "pastor" that we must serve, WITHOUT someone that we are paying to do the work for us, WITH equal opportunity, WITH equal responsibility, WITH the Spirit of the Living God active in its members, WITH Christ as its Head - NO OTHER!

"Church" has come to mean the four-walled institution that sucks the life out of believers, in order to feed its never-satiated hunger for money and power. "Pastors" and "Elders" supplant the male as the head of the family...and we pay them to do so.

Bitter and twisted? Nope, just a realist; been there done that, got the T-shirt. But thanks for your blog...make people think!

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